LIVING IN HARMONY WITH THOSE YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH

Wouldn’t it be a perfect world if we can all agree on everything? No fights, no wars and no disharmony. It also means that there will be no progress, no breakthroughs and no advancement. 

Oftentimes when we do not agree with someone, we tend to think of it in the context of “right and wrong”. Does one have to be wrong for the other to be right and vice versa? And what does right and wrong mean? And according to whom?

As a society, we have grown up to witness disagreements as a negative thing, so much so, that we feel the need to choose sides. 

What if there are no sides? What if we are all on the same side? 

Living in harmony with those you disagree is possible and here is how you can do that.

1. Open Your Mind. Instead of being too quick to judge, how about viewing the facts objectively? This requires listening with genuine curiosity and willingness to understand the other person’s perspective and point of view. Give the other person the time and space to speak without interrupting them. Seek to understand them even if you do not agree with them. Take “right” and “wrong” out of the equation. See it as “another” perspective or a “different” opinion. Just because you do not share that perspective doesn’t mean it is wrong.

2. Be compassionate. Always give the person the benefit of doubt. Do not assume their ill intentions. Instead look at them with compassion. Everyone is fighting a silent battle we aren’t aware of. Everyone is doing the best they can in this world to show up and to do their part. Honor them, see them, hear them. We are all doing our best. Let’s show compassion to one another.

3. Educate yourself. When you already have a set opinion about something, you need to be willing to learn about where that perspective comes from, on what basis or information did you get that perspective? Is it accurate? Perhaps read more about it and be open to learning more about the subject matter. When I was a child, I would love to argue (this was the “lawyer-in-training” in me). So much so that my siblings would ask me to face people they disagreed with and I would fight the battle for them. I am glad to say I have evolved a lot since then. Nowadays before I speak, I make it a point to, not just listen, but to also read up on the subject matter, so that I can understand it better before forming an opinion.

4. Mind your language. If after listening and educating yourself, you still find yourself disagreeing with them, then speak from a loving space instead of from a place to self righteousness. Speak your truth, be authentic but at the same time be kind. I have often found that when I speak from a place of genuine care and compassion, the person I am speaking too drops their guard and becomes equally open and kind.

5. Choose harmony over being right. Once you have communicated your opinion (with kindness) that you do not share the same perspective, let it go. Agree to disagree and be respectful and mindful of the other person’s opinions and feelings. Even if you think they do not extend kindness, don’t use that as your permission to do the same. How others behave is their responsibility. How you behave is yours. 

When you show up differently, you experience life differently. Try the above tips and strengthen your relationship and live in peace.